Shine On Down's Blog – May 2009 Archive (4)

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God Came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" Inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises And sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, Everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.



It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one Pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking

Them with my arms, catching them on branches and Snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain,"… Continue

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.



# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.



# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.



# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same

time.



# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.



# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.



# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho..



# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.



# 2 - When they… Continue

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES



Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.



Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.



For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.



A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going… Continue

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.



I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my… Continue