I've owned a guinea pig for a couple years now. Her name is Fluffy, and I'm pretty sure she flirts with me. She squeaks enthusiastically when I pet her back, lets me feed her alfalfa sprouts by hand, and sometimes lightly nibbles on my fingers.
I now know that Fluffy IS flirting with me and signaling that she wants a more intimate relationship. I told her it's time to stop playing games and let's do this if we're gonna do this. She seemed receptive, so I'm taking her out on a date this Friday. We're doing a tour of a mulching company and will sample some wood chips at the end of it. After we've had our fill, we'll go the McDonalds playland because they have those tubes you can crawl in, and I know Fluffy loves crawling thru tubes.
Look, I know people are going to judge when they see me walking around town with a gorgeous guinea pig in my arms, but whatever. They're just jealous haters who don't understand the bond one can feel with a different species.
There will be obstacles to overcome in this relationship, but there are challenges in every relationship. It's all about compromise. I'm trying to teach Fluffy to stop pooping on herself, and she's teaching me how to drink water from an upside-down bottle.
I'll check back here in a few weeks to let everyone know how my relationship with Fluffy is going.