scary movie 3

Urban Legends

I was trying to figure out what drugs would make this tolerable. This is the pre-movie-mixture: 3 joints fast, in a row; let it kick in at least 30 minutes prior to inserting dvd. 15 mins in, match it w 3 oxycontins downed via 3 shots tequila. Injest worm. At the hour mark, you'll hit "I'm so scared. Hey, nothing's gonna happen to you, I promise" then a kiss, whereupon lesbian throws hissy fir int he middle of a thunderstorming massacre commemoration bash. Creepyass janitor & security guard duking it out when a strange sound happens & they go investigate. Get up, comb the house for any leftover crystal meth, say, in the rug, behind sofa cushions. Return: by then you'll be at the Dean's office- in shambles- guard falls in blood & it cuts back to the party, "Look, you might want to end this party a little bit early" the reporter announces to students. "There's a killer on campus". Time to hit the heroin. Right, mainline it. Part throwers proceed to tear reporter a new asshole. By now you're in the right state of mind to conjecture at the killer. Attention! try to watch the screen, not nod off. Here's a tip: don't turn your back while throwing up or you, too, might end up like microwave-guy. Probably if you put a dog in a nuker then on high, or "popcorn" setting, it would resemble that red mess. Good job. Action picks up with "You're gonna die tonight" phone call. Please snort lines of preferably pharmaceutical-grade coca... You're nearing the end. "Oh really?' phone answerer & target will say, sarcastically. Well, wouldn't you?

If the choice is between this and PBS, I'd go w this. WHO'S IN THE UNFASHIONABLE HOODY THIS WHOLE TIME, HATCHETING? Oh, the tension.

Quarantine still in 1st place.